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| Tom w/ Groom at recent wedding |
.blogspot.com/2013/06/comparing-two-visits.html.) As much as I might have tried, it left a bitter taste in my mouth, and though maybe I didn’t intend it, a bitter root started to grow. Hanyo stayed away for a while after that visit. The next time he came by, he ended up talking to someone who was staying with us for most of the visit so I didn’t have “to deal with him”. Which was fine with me. The truth was, I didn’t really want to have to deal with Hanyo again for a long time, but in my heart I had forgiven him, right?
About a month went by and I ran into another man I know, someone akin to Hanyo in his way of living and speaking. He came up to me on the street and said, “I haven’t seen you in a while.” Which was true. “The holiday is coming and I need to buy things for my children. I’m thinking about 30€ for each. How many do you want to pay for?” I couldn’t even look at him. I felt anger welling up within me. “None.” I replied. “You have a job. It’s not my job to look after your children it’s yours.” The conversation continued for a bit. I felt myself becoming more and more bitter. “Some friends visit just to visit. Some ‘friends’ visit only when they want something.” I said. Then I stalked off, feeling bitter but in the right.
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| Our youngest about to have his first haircut |
A few weeks later we headed to the beach for our day off. It had been a number of weeks since we’d been to the beach and I was looking forward to a nice swim. The beach looked deserted! We’re going to have it all to ourselves. This is going to be great! Just as we step onto the sand a man steps out of the shadows. “You have to pay to use the beach,” he says. “No, we don’t,” I spit out. “That’s a lie.” We set off across the beach to set up our stuff, but the man keeps following us. Arguing that we should pay him to use the beach. “You are really bothering us,” I say. “Go away.” But he doesn’t go away. Instead he starts a big trash fire right behind our stuff. I took our stuff and moved to another part of the beach. Now I’m really angry. This jerk has ruined our beach time and still won’t leave us alone. “Show me your papers, your ID, and then I’ll pay you.” I say, “If not go away.” At this point the guy got angry too. And starts coming towards me like he wants to fight.
Thankfully, some things happened to diffuse the situation. Megan saw what was happening and joined in the conversation with a lot less anger and more patience which seemed to have an immediate effect on the guy. Then a man who lives above the beach came down to complain about the trash fire sending noxious smoke up into his house. This man explained to the guy bothering us that we lived in the neighborhood and that he should leave us alone. I was thankful that the Father had stepped into a situation I had made a mess of. But it started to strike me just what was going on in my heart. I had become bitter towards a certain kind of person--all the Hanyos of the world--and it was damaging me. With Megan’s encouragement, as we left the beach I apologized to the beach guy for becoming angry. He accepted, but offered no apology in return.
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| Our daughter about to go to a celebration with friends |
Over the next few days I was struck by just how bitter I had become. Where was my love for Hanyo and the like? It had shriveled up and died. I needed help. I needed a change of heart. So I asked for it.
Hanyo came by a week or two ago. I felt the annoyance bubble up as he began to say the same old things. But then I remembered, I didn’t have to feel that way. Even if he was like this, I could still love him. I started to think about his good qualities, and how I could encourage him. It ended up being a long conversation. We looked at the book together. I even shared some things--hard things--that I had wanted to share with him since that visit, but now it was different. I wasn’t saying these things out of anger or annoyance, but out of a real desire to help him and love him. I felt the bitterness dying away and a new compassion welling up like water in my heart.
PRAYERS ANSWERED
We’ve found a 3rd house! The landlord is very accommodating and friendly and the house is basically ready to go. We’ve found ways around the government ban of skype and had some opportunities to talk with our teammates over the internet, which has been great and mutually encouraging. We’ve learned that amidst protests, the government-run telecommunications company is rethinking their ban of internet calling.
PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray as we continue to look for the last two houses-- it seems like these last two will be trickier to find/decide on. Pray for our teammates as they continue to strengthen their home support groups. We have created a big to-do list of things we want to accomplish before we take some vacation time next month-- pray that we are able to be productive while not being stressed and while keeping our priorities in the right places. There has been some divisive public speeches given by the former and current island presidents--pray for current national stability to continue.
