Building Relationships

Our sons dressed for the ceremony (just off the porch)

One of our goals here is not only to live in community but to be part of the community.  That is easier said than done.  We are different.  No matter how well we speak the language, eat their foods, wear their dress, we are still different.  The only way to really become part of the community is to build relationships and the only way to do that is to spend time with people.  But they have to be willing to spend time with us.  And we have to be willing to spend time with them.  This is again, easier said than done.

Our youngest in the midst of one of the mens' ceremony

This week, Ma Riziki, our neighbor across the street, has been busy.  Her son is getting married, and as you know if you read our blogs, marriages here are a big deal.  The thing is, Ma Riziki’s family does not have much.  To pull off a big wedding like this is a BIG deal, and it requires a lot of help.  So we’ve been doing our best to do our part.  But what can we do?  We can’t really help with the preparations.  We’d just get in the way. Thankfully, Ma Riziki is not afraid to ask (or tell us) what is needed.  It basically boiled down to three things: our plastic chairs, our camera, and our presence.  The chairs were no big deal, but being amateur photographers/videographers is asking a lot.  Our presence at every event from beginning to end also means a real commitment of our time--not so easy when we also have houses to find and classes to teach and three small children to care for, but somehow we’ve managed to participate.  (We still have a couple ceremonies left, but we’ve managed to survive through the bulk of it.)

Tom, our baby & friend observing wedding meal prep

The encouraging thing is we’ve seen small changes taking place.  They are more comfortable coming in our house and vice versa.  The kids are becoming more comfortable around their kids too.  Yesterday they stopped by with  some gifts for us.  An assortment of wedding foods, a traditional dress for Megan and a traditional hat for Tom.  Giving gifts is a sure sign of deepening relationship.  The size of the gift reflects the commitment involved.  The dress and the hat are sizable gifts--especially for a family of little means.  It’s another encouraging sign that we are making our way in this relationship.

So far this relationship with Ma Riziki has been defined mostly by actions rather than words.  Sharing our time rather than our thoughts.  But we were reminded this week that these things take time.   Another friend, Sterehi, came by yesterday. He’s another one we’ve been sharing life with, building the relationship a little at a time.  In the course of conversation we learned that his daughter is sick.  (It sounds like she might have mumps--not sure.)  Tom asked if he could pray for her and Sterehi accepted.  After a short prayer for her healing, Sterehi looked affected and he said, “In my whole life, no one has ever prayed for my family like that.”  Tom had a chance to share that our Father loves to give us good gifts and that we need only ask.  And so we continue to ask our Father for more opportunities like this.  To share our lives with the people around us.

The kids with some friends on the street

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are thankful for deepening relationships and greater acceptance in our community.  We are happy to see things going so well with our English classes.  We’re also happy to be checking things off of our to-do list, even if it still seems like a long way to go.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for Sterehi’s daughter to be completely healed and for him to understand where healing comes from.  Pray for Ma Riziki and her family and for opportunities to accompany our deeds with words.  Pray for our house hunt.  This past week we thought we were close to finding the last two houses only to have one house fall through and for us to start to question the other house.  This house still seems like a good choice, but the landlord is being troublesome enough to make us question the whole endeavor.  Pray for wisdom as to how to proceed.  And please lift up our teammates.  This is the final month for them in terms of raising the support they need to come.  If they do not have their needs fulfilled by the end of this month they will not be able to join us.  We still hope and expect all things to work out!