Mkayamba Hunt

Christmas morning

Christmas shopping on the islands can be kind of an adventure, especially if you are looking for something specific.  Unless it is something islanders use all the time, you might not find it—but then again, you might find it. It is that uncertainty that keeps you looking. You go to shop after shop whose walls are stacked high with an odd assortment of goods. You never know what might be sitting in the corner of one of those shops, just collecting dust.

Sometimes the hunt ends in complete disappointment. You can’t find anything like what you wanted. Sometimes it ends in partial disappointment. You find something but it isn’t exactly what you wanted and/or it is more expensive than you wanted and/or it is horribly poor quality.

So it is with some trepidation that we picked names for our secret gift exchange— what kind of adventure would we be in for this year? My friend wanted a traditional island instrument.  A “shaker (square with seeds inside)”. This was a new kind of shopping adventure. Though it is a locally made gift, I had never seen one before. I didn’t know how common they were, and they definitely weren’t going to be sitting in a shop ready to buy. I didn’t even know the name in the local language. Thankfully her latest newsletter had a picture of one, so I showed someone the picture and got the name —mkayamba. 

We don’t have any personal contacts in the traditional music scene and since the whole thing is supposed to be secret, we weren’t supposed to ask our teammates. So we asked our experts—that is the single biggest group of cultural insiders we could gather together in one place— our English Club. Where could we find an mkayamba? There was a quick discussion. They threw out various village names from all over the island where they knew people that played the mkayamba. It seemed like only a handful of people owned one, but if they owned one they probably made it themselves. Finally, one of our quieter club members, spoke up, “I have a friend. He plays the mkayamba. He can make it.” He assured us that he would tell his friend to come to our house.

An mkayamba

The week went by and no friend showed up. Then it was the Christmas party club and in the midst of the busy night we forgot to ask him again about his friend. When I texted him about it— it was not an encouraging response. “I have not found my friend yet I will tell him.” It was only a few days before Christmas and what had seemed like a promising lead now seemed doubtful. We decided to hit the streets. We needed to leave some days to catch the trail of a musician, find the musician, and then find an mkayamba or have it made.

So we asked around the market and the old town. Each time we mentioned the mkayamba, someone predictably started gesturing and playing an imaginary mkayamba. One man in the market called me over and said he would help me find whatever I wanted. When I told him I wanted an mkayamba, he said it would have to be specially ordered, but he would make it happen. I just needed to give him my phone number. It was at this point that I realized he just wanted to cozy up to the white lady. I went and got Tom and suddenly the man wasn’t so interested in helping. A lady on the other side of the market said that there was someone who played an mkayamba in a nearby village. “Just go to where the ladies sell bread in that village and ask people, you’ll find him.” It was a good lead, but we still had shopping to do in town and we had all the kids. So we kept asking. At another shop, they said they would find someone. “Just come back tomorrow or the day after tomorrow and we will have someone with an mkayamba.” This lead was too vague. They couldn’t give us a name of someone who made them. We smiled and said goodbye and went home with our hot and hungry kids.

Christmas morning

The next day had more errands to do, but finally Tom could stay home with the kids. I headed out to follow-up our one solid lead. I took a taxi to the village and got out right where the ladies sold bread. First I bought some bread, then I asked about the mkayamba. The outgoing ladies started to play their imaginary mkayambas. One asked if I knew how to dance to that type of music and started to shake her body in demonstration.  I told her I was looking for a friend, but I wanted to buy one. They yelled to some people and within 5 minutes, a man was being led to me. One woman explained, “Your girlfriend here wants an mkayamba.” I proceeded by giving my own explanation. He said he had one and told me to follow him. He led me down a dirt street away from the main road and deep into a neighborhood. At a tin house surrounded by motorcycle parts, he turned. “Should I follow you?” I asked. “Why not?” was his reply.

He opened the door to the shack and all I saw at first were dismantled motors and parts in  disorganized heaps. He reached over the mess and pulled an mkayamba out from the pile. He then showed me his traditional guitar. He had made them both himself. He was a mechanic but he was also the authority for traditional music for that whole area. I encouraged him that it was important to support and keep traditional music alive. Then after some brief negotiations, I left. I had the mkayamba and he had some unexpected money.

Another island shopping adventure complete!

The next day on Christmas Eve, a man stopped Tom on the street. It was our English club member’s friend. He had the mkayamba ready to sell to us…

PRAYERS ANSWERED

We had a wonderful Christmas with family, friends, food and fun.  It was a great celebration.  We were even blessed to receive some Christmas packages from the States!  Ma Imani continues to have a tough pregnancy with frequent expensive doctor’s visits and the lack of work has made her family’s living situation tough.  So we went to visit her a few days before Christmas with a sack of rice, a pineapple and some lychees.  We had a wonderful visit with her.  She’s doing okay, but continues to be fatigued.  After a nice time of talking, as we got up to leave she revealed to us that it was her birthday—28 years old that day!  So our Christmas present was also a birthday present and God’s special provision for one of his special children! Megan was able to sit down and visit with Bweni.  Her new married situation is strange, but Bweni continues to desire to grow and so we are hopeful for some good to come out of a messy situation.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
We leave for a week of visiting the neighboring island tomorrow morning.  Pray that our travels would go well and that our steps would be guided in what we see and do while we are there.  We are especially looking forward to seeing some old friends who we haven’t seen in a long time.  Pray that we can mutually encourage one another.  Nearly all of our teammates have left the islands to go on their own adventures to other parts of Africa and will not be returning until February.  Pray for their safe arrivals and great learning experiences ahead.

Double Booked

Christmas Club!

We get a lot of wedding invitations. At this point we’ve attended more island weddings than we have American weddings. This is partially because weddings here are not just one event, they are a series of events. Usually we don’t see a wedding all the way through— we just go to the one (sometimes two) events that we have been invited to. Wedding invitations are so common for us that we don’t always go. Sometimes we have no idea who the bride and groom are and we are being invited by a distant relative or a friend of a friend. In these situations we feel little obligation to go.

But here was an invitation to a wedding where we knew the bride, Bweni (see post from 2 weeks ago- "Right Choice?" for full story behind her wedding). While I wasn’t supportive of the marriage, the actual marriage ceremony had already happened. Now a week later was the final event— the climax for the bride. So I knew I should be there. To not go seemed like it could be relationship-breaking. 

But here was the problem— it was the same night as our annual Christmas party for our English Club. It was a biggest club night of the year. We would have a bunch of snacks, sing, play games, and share the Christmas story. It always went late.

As soon as she told me about the wedding event, I told her about the conflict. In normal circumstances, that would have been the end of it. But since I had come down so hard against the marriage, I wanted to make contact again. So the day of the event,  I let her know again about the conflict and prayed that God would be with her. But she still urged me to come, assuring me the event would be from 6-10pm. I surprised to hear that it would start so early, so I told her I’d try to pass by before our club.

I should have known better. I went at 7pm and they were still setting up. Worst of all, Bweni wasn’t even there. She was getting ready in some other location. I had assumed I would at least get some face time with her.  I sat there watching them set up, thinking that I should slip out before they really got started. Then Bweni’s mom grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the lights and set-up chairs, away from listening ears. She started talking to me fast and furious. In short, she wanted me to know that she wasn’t happy about the marriage either. She hadn’t felt free to say so when I voiced my objections because of the people listening (she had to put on a happy face for the neighborhood). But she wasn’t happy. She cried in bed about it but she had no choice but to go along with it. She ended her speech by saying, “Now we just have to pray to God that Bweni will be saved.”

Our angel declaring the good news

It wasn’t very clear to me what exactly her mom thought she should be saved from…shame, gossip, a bad marriage, sin— but in any case it seemed a good prayer to me so I agreed. We returned to the seats arm and arm. She sat me down and left to do more preparations. I made my exit a little bit later.

I got back to the house in time for a few last minute preparations before our guests started arriving. We had a good time. Our guests were particularly struck by the lowness of being born in a stable and placed in a manger. Then came the announcement from the angels to the shepherds. This baby was born to save us! That is good news for all of us to hear.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Our English club Christmas party went well. We feel like people engaged with the story more than in past years and they left with copies both in English and the local language. We got tickets to go to the neighboring island after Christmas to visit friends over there and strategize together. We are excited about the mutual encouragement that is sure to happen. We’ve been doing our shopping and planning and look forward to a nice island Christmas this year.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Ma Imani has been suffering in her pregnancy. She has a medical condition that effects the baby and so she has to go for regular injections. These medical visits are draining her funds, so her family is struggling to find money for food. Pray for God’s protection for her and her baby. Pray that her husband could find a job and for His provision. Our internet has been bad on the islands lately, pray that the connection could be strong for the holiday so we can connect with our families back in the States. One of our sisters from volcano island was interrogated for a long time by police— it was the first time something like this has happened in as long a time as those working here can remember— pray for her and all of us on the islands. It is possible this is the first sign of things to come. After Christmas, all our teammates are traveling off the islands, pray for safe travels. Pray that Megan would get a chance to sit down and talk with Bweni again in person.

Top 10 Signs It's Christmas Time on the Islands

Joseph, Mary & "donkey" going to Bethlehem

Well, it’s Christmas time here on the islands.  But the Christmas season looks a little different down south of the equator on our little island.  Here’s the top ten signs that it’s Christmas time:

10. Our son is singing “Hark the Herald Angel Sing” at the top of his lungs.
 
9.  You have one month to eat as many lychees as humanly possible.
 
8.  Everyone is late to English Club because the sun doesn’t go down until 7:30pm
 
7.  The morning call to prayer (normally just before sunrise) now bizarrely happens at 3:30am
 
6.  Except for our house and a few of our colleagues who have Christmas decorations, everything looks, smells, and sounds like any other month of the year.
 

Shepherd with his green sheep

5.  Each night the kids debate about whose turn it is to do the next piece of the advent puzzle.
 
4.  Due to frequent water cuts, the sound of running water causes us to run around the house filling up buckets, flushing toilets and washing as many dishes and clothes as possible before the next cut.
 
3.  Exams, English ceremonies, weddings and Christmas parties! It’s a busy time of year!
 
2.  If you’re a foreigner, people keep asking you—“Are you traveling?”

And the number one sign that it’s Christmas time on Clove Island...
1. You wake up in a puddle of your own sweat!

Tom & a bowl of lychees (yum!)

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The training with islanders went really well. We’re looking forward to following up on it and seeing what impact it has in the future. The certificate ceremonies have been going well— even with they are long and hot and filled with too many skits and speeches! The islanders love them.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Megan had the chance to have a talk with Bweni and her mother (in the presence of many neighbors), making it clear that we didn’t support her marrying this man, nor did we support the kind of life-style he was living. Neither of them seemed offended by the talk, but Bweni ended up marrying the man anyway— the simple wedding already happened and the follow-up ceremonies are this coming weekend. Please continue to pray for Bweni and her new husband and her family. Pray for us in this extreme heat— we don’t sleep well and find ourselves generally feel more irritable. This coming week is our big English club Christmas party— pray that we would have good opportunities to share and explain.

The Right Choice?

A happy island bride and groom

Bweni is only 24 years old, but she feels like an old maid. “I’m a grandmother,” she claims. Her mother was married as a young teenager. Her younger sister was married at 17. There was an attempted arranged-marriage when she was 15 years old that fell through. She studied abroad and had a long-term boyfriend but his family didn’t approve of her. So here she is 24 and still not married. Her mom bugs her about it a lot. Apparently she has rejected at least one guy that came to the family.

She doesn’t want to marry an islander. She’s traveled abroad and seen a bigger world. In her experience, island men are never faithful and they threaten divorce or getting a second wife at any disagreement. She doesn’t want any of it. She’s seen some island women who married foreign men— those men don’t get second wives and they’ve taken care of the children. Sounds pretty good in her mind….she’s wants to marry a foreigner.

Now she has a new-found faith, so she has been praying for a husband. I talked to her about patience and about waiting for a good man. But by all accounts she has taken things into her own hands. She has hung out at a local hotel where foreigners frequent. She has made a point of getting to know the foreign men. This is not respectable behavior for a single island girl. Rumors have abounded and her reputation has plummeted.

This past weekend I got the news. “Bweni is getting married on Dec 19th. We’re all invited.” What? To whom? Did she find a good man? I asked her this question in person when I saw her. The answer was a resounding, “No.” He’s a foul-mouthed, drunk. He is also as old as her father and unhealthily obese. She could not say one positive thing about him. By all accounts, it appears that he has come to the islands for his retirement, to drink himself to death. “He’s always drinking. From the morning until the night, so he can barely walk most of the time,” she told me freely. It became clear that no one is really happy with this match (except perhaps the man in question). She doesn’t even like him. “Don’t sleep with him, “ I urged her. She looked at me like the idea was gross to her, “Don’t worry. I told him not even a kiss until after the wedding.”

Kids with newly-made ornaments

My heart cries out, “What is she doing?!?” But in her mind, she prayed for a husband and this is the man that God provided. Being married will give her the independence that she craves and will stop the nagging of her mother. She will also lose a lot of the shame she has been carrying. I get the impression it is more about “being married” than the actual man involved. In our conversation, I told her that I wasn’t happy with this news. I told her that God wanted her to marry a good man, not a man like this. I told her repeatedly that she had a choice.

“If I lived somewhere else I’d have a choice and I would wait, but here there is no choice.” I told her that I was scared for her. “I’m scared too,” she admitted. I jumped on this. “If we are following the way that God wants us to follow, He promises to give us peace. We won’t be afraid.” I told her she needed to pray and see if God gave her peace about marrying this man. As she got up to leave, I said one last time, “You have a choice!”

“The wedding is on the 19th,” she told me.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The electricity and water cuts have both improved. Thanks for praying. We have been enjoying all the fruit of the season— we’ve eaten lots of lychees in the past few weeks and they’re good! Exams and classes continue to finish well— now we have all the certificate ceremonies, too! Our daughter finished her exams and was happy with them.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
I haven’t given up on Bweni. I’m going this afternoon to hopefully talk to her and her mother. I want her mother to know that this is not the kind of man that we consider good (since islanders usually group all foreigners together). I want to urge her in the presence of her mother that she can still back out. Please pray for her and us during this time. We still don’t have the plane tickets we needed to secure, keep praying that we can find the flights we need. There is a training scheduled to begin Friday for some of our good island friends— we feel like this training could be very important for the future, so please be praying that the right people would go and for the right things to be discussed. 

Thankful in 2015

Our family on Friday

We keep up a Thanksgiving tradition. We have a little book, our Thanksgiving book. Each year we take it out and fill a bunch of pages full of things that we are thankful for from that past year. Now in another tradition, we will share with you all some of the highlights from this year’s entry. Rejoice with us for His many blessings.

We are thankful for Thanksgiving…
    -  for a happy and HOT Thanksgiving day on the island
    - for Thanksgiving morning haircuts for Tom and the boys
    - for a day of fun games, yummy food and cold drinks!
    - that we were able to video-chat with the grandparents (after months of not being able to, we got around the telecom company’s blocks)
   
We’re thankful for our home on Clove Island and our life here this past year…
    - for the group of islanders meeting and studying together weekly
    - for families seeking and studying together
    - for more people joining our big family
    - for Ma Imani’s pregnancy
    - for the translation work into the local language
    - for the unity and cooperation among workers on the islands
    - for more songs being created in local language and styles
    - for God’s grace in the difficult times
    - for family traditions- family movie night, pizza, going to ocean or river
    - for English teaching being embraced by islanders
    - for all the different visitors passing through (at least 18 at our house alone)

We’re thankful for our travels this past year…
    - for an inspiring conference in Kenya
    - for connecting with other team leaders and learning together
    - for generous parents taking us on vacation
    - for places where we could have air-conditioning, playgrounds, cheese and ice cream
    - for our kids loving to travel and doing so well

Our kids built Christmas tree from legos

We’re thankful for our daughter (7 years)…
    - for all her lost teeth
    - for her reading chapter books now!
    - for her growing in patience and boldness
    - for her speaking with people more in French and the local language
    - for her desire to learn
    - for her willingly helping around the house and loving the team babies

We’re thankful for our oldest son (5 years)…
    - for our sweet and creative guy
    - for his learning how to read with enthusiasm
    - for his creative story-telling!
    - for his endless building of “hide-outs”
    - for his willingness to listen & compromise
    - for his cool elevated train constructions

We’re thankful for our youngest son (3 years)…
    - for all his big hugs and smiles
    - for his being a good sharer
    - for all his cute ways of saying things (he’s 3)
    - for his fearless love of water
    - for super wrestler and climber
    - for his new love of puzzles!

PRAYERS ANSWERED
The above list represents many answered prayers. Thank you for praying. Ma Imani seems to be doing well— the baby is moving around a lot, which reminds her to eat better. One of our teammates has a new opportunity to study with a husband and wife, both of whom are very engaged and interested. Exams have been going well so far. Still a few more weeks to go before they are all done. Our daughter’s exams have been going well too and she doesn’t seem stressed by them at all.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
The local group is in need of prayer. There have been past sins creeping in again and tension among people. Pray for healthy resolution among people, for unity, and for the development of new healthy patterns of coping during hard times. It is hot and humid, making it difficult to sleep sometimes. Also, the electricity and water have become less and less reliable. It’s not the most fun time to live on the islands— pray for perseverance, energy and joy for all of us. We have the long-haul tickets to go back for Tom’s sister’s wedding in February, but the local/regional tickets have been hard to secure. Pray that we’d be able to get them this coming week. Also, the islands are starting to gear up for presidential elections and rumblings of tension, pray that everything would be peaceful and just.