Bittersweet

Showing Gram the view of our city

Ma Imani’s father died. He was an old man, relatively frail and blind in his old age. But he had been like that for years. There was no immediate illness to warn everyone that his death was imminent.

So his death was a bit of a shock. Adding to the shock was the bitterness that Ma Imani hadn’t seen her father in months. Her father though not involved in the family disputes, lived at her mother’s house with her sisters. And while Ma Imani had forgiven her mother, she hadn’t reconciled with her sisters. Even her mother hid the fact that she was talking to Ma Imani from her other daughters. In Ma Imani’s words, she was afraid they would be angry with her.

The conflict itself was pretty much over, but no one was willing to make the step toward reconciliation. Ma Imani would not step foot in their home until they came to her and she said they were too ashamed to initiate communication with her. We had been praying about this situation and had asked you to as well. We didn’t know what would have to happen to break the stalemate.

Then Ma Imani got the call, “Your father is dead.” She was struck with grief and headed straight for her mother’s house. At first she hesitated, but then she entered the house, went past everyone and straight into the room with her father. She cried and cried until she almost fainted. Over the course of these first hours of mourning, she described her different sisters coming and begging her forgiveness, even one of the husbands (who had been particularly troublesome asked her to forgive him). It seemed that everyone felt the weight of her not having seen her father before his death. She had been his primary caretaker before the family home broke up in October. She gave her forgiveness and took her place in the family as they prepared all the necessary things for her father’s funeral.

On the islands there are several important days after a death. First, the person is supposed to be buried within the 24 hours after death. Mourners will come and the mourning family needs to provide snacks and beverages for everyone who comes. Then the third day and the fifth day there are usually huge gatherings where people pray and expect to be fed by the mourning family.
By the end of the week, the family had spent almost double Ma Imani’s yearly salary paying for the funeral expenses. They have gone into debt and will have to slowly pay it off, each family member taking a portion of the burden.

New haircut for the hot weather

Death is hard on families, but we are happy to say that this bitter time has also been a sweet time for the family. On the third and fifth days, Ma Imani led her sisters in true heart-felt prayers (not like islanders normally do) for their father but still in the presence of the other mourners and they even sang a chorus that highlighted their choice not to follow the predominant island faith. Then there is the good news that Ma Imani has become a staple in her mother’s house again. Everyday she spends most of her time sitting with her mother and sisters. Her father died while we were away, but the day after we got back, we visited. It was so refreshing after the long months of prayer to see them all sitting together, chatting and smiling. She is encouraging her mother and sisters to start reading the book and studying together again. And we are so glad that something sweet had come out of this bitter time of death and mourning.

But still, people in the family are holding their breath. There is still one important day after death to go… the fortieth day will mark an end to the most intense mourning (and again people will expect to eat). Some have wondered whether the feud will start again once the 40th day is over. They wonder if Ma Imani will stop coming to the house again. She insists that it is over. For her part, she is committed to retaining the peace. Pray with us that this family would shine brightly and wouldn’t be broken up again.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We got our visas renewed! Megan’s parents made it safely back to the US after their visit— we were very glad to have them on the islands to share our life with them. Our special concentration on local language for the past week went well! Pray that we would have chances to use the new vocabulary, expressions and stories we’ve learned. 

PRAYERS REQUESTED
We have a agricultural consultant on the islands helping our team (especially our current teammate working in that area) see how we could help the agriculture of the islands, both in the coming months but potentially further into the future. Pray with us as we think about what the future of our organisation could be in this area. One of the island sisters has traveled off the island very suddenly and may never return. We are saddened by this news but are also hopeful for her that God will continue to work in her life and help her to make good choices for both herself and her baby son. Pray with us for her.