Small Victories

Island groom & bride at small ceremony

“I have something important to tell you…I’m getting married...tomorrow.”

This was the gist of a conversation a colleague of mine had this week with one of our island brothers.  He’s 38 years old and he was tired of waiting. He told us in a text. He was marrying a girl he had known for 5 weeks who doesn’t share his convictions.

This is an all too common occurrence here.  Be it because of cultural pressure.  Be it because the flesh is weak, but most of our brothers are unequally yoked and more of them continue to choose wives who do not see the world as they do.  It is a sad occurrence, a big problem, and yet neither is it fair or just to judge them.  It’s one thing to tell someone, “There are other fish in the sea, wait for the right one.”  But here the seas are empty, there are no available women who share the worldview.  What are they to do???

David likes hats

That’s why when we were invited to a wedding a few weeks ago we went with the same mixed feelings of joy and sadness that attend such things.  We are happy to see our friends happy, but worry for what it will all mean.  Will they draw their wife into new life, or will their new wife drag them away from their current way of life?

One of the most disheartening things can be the ceremony itself, as traditionally it requires the groom to recite a pledge of allegiance that they no longer hold. But to not do it would be to question the validity of the marriage.  What choice do they have?  Is a wedding the moment to stand up and declare a new way?  Couldn’t they just nod their agreement and have it not count?

Questions like this are difficult and real in our context.  It’s easy to seek for boldness and judge the one who chooses to hide to be a coward or lacking in faith, but there is a time and place for everything, and each man’s journey is his own.

Yet, I do believe that God rewards the brave.  When we went to our brother’s wedding ceremony, the man who would officiate the wedding did not show up and as a consequence the marriage continued without the groom making the pledge.  Apparently our brother went and told the man, “he didn’t want one of those religious weddings” and the man agreed.  The result was a very nice, traditional ceremony but with that one part left out.  As an outsider it’s hard to know if anyone noticed or if anyone will take notice, but nothing happened at the ceremony, and we went home rejoicing.

Grace & Peter at last day of school

It may seem like a small thing, but even small victories mean something.  Our friend took a chance.  It wasn’t a crazy thing he did, and he did it in a wise and cautious way, but it was a bold step nonetheless.  It was a victory.  And sometimes, you have to start with small victories.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
We are happy to have attended this unique wedding and seen our prayers answered.  The kids have finished the school year at the local school.  We are thankful for the good year of school they’ve had. Some of the ladies on our team have started meeting with some island ladies to do a Book study.   This is a very exciting development. Pray for much fruit.

PRAYERS REQUESTED
Pray for our friend and for all our friends in similar situations.  Pray that they would love their wives and draw them into unity and oneness through their love and sacrifice.  Pray for us to know how to counsel, encourage, and strengthen marriages in this place where families are broken and the true meaning of marriage is far from understood.  The month of fasting should begin next week-- start praying now for our opportunities to share during this special month.