Mothers

Our beautiful birthday girl (6 yrs old)

This Sunday is Mother’s Day and mothers are special.  But on the islands mothers are really special.  As you may or may not know our islands are rather unique because they are a matrilineal society.  That is to say historically wealth and lands have been passed down through the generations from mothers to daughters and not fathers to sons.  There are very few matrilineal societies in the world.  We learned recently that this type of society probably developed because of the slave trade.  Men were often kidnapped, sold to slavers, and delivered to slave holders in the Middle East and later the Americas, never to return to their families.   It was the women who were left behind to tend the farm, and raise the children and hold the family together.

When you talk to islanders about their families, you quickly learn that mothers hold a very special place.  Fathers are sometimes loved and respected, but they are also often absent or their attention is divided between their different wives and families.  Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers, all hold their place, but their first loyalty, their greatest bond is to their mother.  Many times islanders will say that they can trust no one except their mother.  And one of the worst things you can do is bring shame to your mother. If you had to choose between your wife and your mother, there is no question--your mother comes first.

Our Family on birthday hike (David was at home)

We see it too.  Just across our street we interact with a family that is held together by mothers.  They are a poor family.  Men seem to come and go, and though it is hard to know who the husbands are, someone is always pregnant.  Children are a constant and holding it all together are the matriarchs.  There are three of them.  The one we know the best has had 12 children. She is already a great grandmother (her eldest granddaughter and her eldest daughter both gave birth this year).  Her children provide for her: some are farmers, some are fisherman, some are businessmen or women, but they all bring some of their profits back home and the family benefits.

Grace on a hanging vine

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In the search for a different way of life, it is hard to make change happen all alone.  In our time on the islands we’ve seen, for the most part, men with this desire for change.  They may have changed and wish for others to have the same change of heart, but they are often no match for the pressures of the society around them.  They hold little power.  They may hold power within the world of business or politics, but they hold little to no sway within their own family.  The result has been a number of changed individuals from different places and different families.  These isolated individuals don’t function as a transforming community.  Generally, they don’t know one another and don’t trust one another.  They are generally ineffective at transmitting the ideas of change to others.  Though they may wish to see great change, they lack real influence with others.  They desire community transformation, but they function as isolated islands.

Now imagine if a matriarch were to seek change.  What would it look like?  It would be like a shockwave.  The ripples of a changed life would impact every member of her widespread family.  The community of trust and relationship and visiting would be there, ready made, within the family.  Transformation could happen as a unit.  Generations would be affected.  No one would be left untouched. 

Peter having fun on the hike.

Many times one person can be the key to unlock a door that leads to great change.  On the islands, I am convinced women--mothers--are the key.  And yet, they are also the most resistant.  God bless all mothers this weekend.  We ask especially for the mothers of this island.  May they seek change and be transformed.

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Amy and Holly came to visit us this past week.  We had a great time with them.  Grace had a fantastic birthday.  We explored a waterfall together as part of her birthday and Grace was our leader.  We are so thankful for our brave 6 year old.  It seems like the electricity situation is improving.  We are quite thankful for it!  We’re booking flights to go to South Africa in July to get medical treatment for Megan’s back-- if her back continues to improve over the next two months then she probably won’t need surgery. Pray with us for that. Grace & Peter’s tummies are feeling much better this week. Our pregnant teammate is feeling better too!


PRAYERS REQUESTED
Continue to pray for changed hearts and lives on the islands. Pray that we could know how to be better catalyst’s for change. Continue to pray for Baki and his wife to have a child. David & Megan are a little under the weather- pray for quick recoveries.