Curtains

We needed curtains. The goal-- get material and have curtains made. What we didn’t know was that this task would draw us into two relational, cultural dilemmas with our landlord, Ma Fado.

Kids read with friend (note curtain-less door behind them)

First dilemma: Where do we buy the curtains?
We went into the old medina to look for material. Ma Fado owns a shop there and sells some ready-made curtains that we didn’t want. So when we stopped in, we made sure to tell her that we were planning to get material, rather than the more expensive ready-made curtains. “Oh, we have material! Great material, in lots of colors and patterns and a great deal. I’ll show them to you at home.”

So we cut our shopping trip short thinking that we would just buy some of her material-- it would make our life easier and it sounded like she would have a good selection from which to choose.

The next morning, she called me downstairs. She had three bolts of material and they were all (to my eyes) hideous. Each was a mix of garishly bright colors in very busy patterns- one was neon pink but she insisted on calling it orange. “Which one do you want?” she asked. I timidly inquired, “ Are there any others?” “Yes there are others, but they are heavy and hard to get out of storage,” she responded.

As I left, I realized the existence of some ambiguity.  It was possible that her comment meant the materials really ARE heavy and that she WAS going to get more material out later for me to see.   On the other hand, “They are heavy and hard to get out of storage”  could also be her indirect way of saying, “This is all I’ve got I’m not going to show you any more.”  This would be a very culturally appropriate way of avoiding a direct refusal.
I was left not knowing whether we were free to look elsewhere or whether we wee still relationally obligated to try to buy from her.

Finally we came to a compromise in our minds. We would get material somewhere else but pay Ma Fado to sew them. Therefore hopefully still fulfilling any relational obligations to give her our business.

It took forever to find material. I was prepared to choose material I didn’t really like-- I have seen very little island curtain fabric that I actually enjoy, but the problem was no one had any (it’s not curtain buying season).  I asked all around the medina and everyone kept pointing me vaguely ahead (another avoidance of a direct refusal-- if someone doesn’t know they give you vague directions). In one awkward moment, someone suggested I go to Ma Fado’s place. Finally I found a shop and some material.

Happy Mother's Day!

Ma Fado seemed a little surprised that I had material already and not from her shop. But she was quickly all smiles. She took the material, called it beautiful and said she would come over to measure.

Second dilemma: How long should curtains be?
We were getting curtains for one set of big windows and two doors. (Islanders usually keep doors open at all times and use curtains for privacy.) Ma Fado came upstairs and we measured the window. She quickly agreed with us that we wouldn’t take the window curtains to the floor because there was a sofa against the wall under the window. She didn’t measure the doors, but we assumed that they must be standardized. I got a piece of paper and wrote down the measurements for the window for her. “Will you have enough fabric?” I asked. “Of course, it will be enough,” she said confidently.

The very next day she was back with the curtains. She gave me one of the door curtains while she worked on the window. As soon as I hung it, I was stunned... It only covered half the doorway. Door curtains always go to the floor. I waited, expecting at any moment for her to turn around and gasp in horror at her mistake. Instead she came over and said, “Oh these are beautiful,” she said. “They are beautiful like this?” I asked indicating the length. “Oh, yes, you can do them like that,” she said with a smile.

I didn’t know what to do. I thanked her and asked how much it should cost. She smiled, kissed my cheeks and refused to be paid.

We quickly got confirmation that indeed no one on the islands has door curtains that only cover have the doorway. We took down the curtains. What do we do now?

Tom & our youngest show some Midd pride

Three possible cultural explanations came to mind. 1) Ma Fado had made a mistake and was trying to play it off to avoid shame. 2) Ma Fado ran out of material and so made them short (not sure if this would be considered our fault or hers) and she was playing it off to avoid shame. 3) She misunderstood and thought we wanted all the curtains the length of the window curtains and didn’t want to shame us by telling us that no one does that.

The problem for us was that we didn’t want to shame her, but we didn’t want curtains like that. I went and bought more material and planned to potentially give it to someone else to fix, but when I went down to say good morning to Ma Fado, she asked, “So the curtains, are they bad?” I wondered if she had noticed that we had taken them down or if this was just an opening for me to praise her sewing. “I think we will add to them so they go to the floor,” I said. “Yes,” she said. “They are too short.”

Ma Fado is supposed to come up tomorrow to measure the doorways.  Cultural dilemma successfully navigated...maybe...

PRAYERS ANSWERED
Before we could request prayers for something they were answered.  Our old team leaders from Volcano island had their computers stolen from their home two days ago.  This evening we received a text saying they had gotten everything back!   Tom was able to meet with a friend today who is helping him learn to talk to our Father in the local language.  Our youngest has been doing better this week (excepting today, see below) and we’ve been able to get more sleep.


PRAYERS REQUESTED
Our youngest threw up today, we think it was just something he ate.  It seems like the problem is passed, but we pray for his good health.  Megan’s pain continues but the exercises are having an effect. The pain is changing, hopefully for the better.  Continue to pray for complete healing. Each week we are doing things to research and prepare for our team (coming in November), pray for us even at this early stage as we try to discern where our teammates should live and work.